How to have fun like a real redneck

Here are directions, prescribed by Uncle B and New Daddy (Bubbas 1 and 2), on how to have fun like Real rednecks.

1) Bubba 2 rents a backhoe with a front loader (Terramite) for a day. The Plan: Attempt to get backhoe through several yards of woods, crossing over the creek. Excavate dirt on the other side of the creek to create a small pond.
2) Get bogged down before reaching the creek. Use the backhoe to "dig" the machine out.
3) After getting unbogged, go halfway back up the hill, turn around, and back down the hill with the larger rear tires leading the way.
4) Cut down a tree that is blocking the path to the creek; make a "bridge" out of the tree to traverse the creek.
5) Go Full Force into the creek. When the rear wheels get bogged down and start spinning on the opposite side, Bubba 1 discovers that a front tire is quite flat. Plus that, it's stuck between two uneven logs, which greatly reduces its leverage.
6) Bubbas run back to the house, get various implements to poke underneath the rear wheels to get them unstuck. The tractor is finally unstuck by plunging the backhoe AND the front loader into the ground to suspend the machine. Then, the logs are removed. Boards are then placed under the rear wheels to give them traction, and the tractor is gradually unstuck. It returns to the top of the hill, where it belongs.
7) The remainder of the time with the machine is spent clearing woods for a garden on the other side of the house (yay!), and playing daring games of "Bubba rides the front loader while other Bubba lifts it. How high can you go before you fold?"
8) Bubba 2 returns the backhoe Monday morning, only to discover the "Mini Excavator," the machine he really needed to dig out the creek.

Ladies shall sit inside the fence in lawn chairs, enjoying the show and snapping pictures. The show: men traipsing through the woods doing manly things like cutting down trees and finding solutions to seemingly insurmountable problems.

What a day it was.